finishing old work 4: winter (four seasons)

winter (own work, 1996-2012, 40 x 55 cm, click on the image for enlargement)

i painted a four-seasons series, as a johannes-itten-like experiment, in 1996, working with diluted oils. i like this type of painting, actually my first real painting (1982) had a landscape background also made of rectangles.

so last year i decided to restore this series, refining the colours in three of the four (the summer panel i still like as it is), using diluted acrylics.

art & spirituality 4: mare de déu amb el nen dormint

mare de déu amb el nen dormint (own work, 2009-2013, 50 x 40 x 60 cm, click on the image for enlargement)

`mother of god with the sleeping child' would be a too literal translation of the catalan title, see this previous post on some background of mare de déu.

you will notice that this sculpture is very different from the earlier statuette `sketch' that i made. the statuette has an active and playful jesus, joyfully interacting with maria. here, jesus is sleeping and maria seems in compassionate contemplation of ... the human condition, if i may interpret for you.

yet there are also great similarities between the two sculptures. the painting technique, and the ideas behind it for instance. in the painting, as in the form, i was looking for non-classical emotive expression.


detail of mare de déu amb el nen dormint (click on the image for enlargement)


detail of mare de déu amb el nen dormint (click on the image for enlargement)


detail of mare de déu amb el nen dormint (click on the image for enlargement)

again, in this madonna sculpture mother and child are not of the same skin colour. in my own small way, as a mostly humble artist, i try to comment on issues/conditions in society that i would like to see improved. one of those issues is the to me absurd one of racism. we are all human, we are one mankind. i have tried to put that feeling in this sculpture, as well as in its smaller predecessor madonna statuette (where i reversed the colours of mother and child).

about the painting: it was a long and arduous task. to achieve lustre and depth, many semi-transparent layers are needed. each layer requires a deft application, to maintain the same fluidity of the paint which is quick-drying. yet there are difficult nooks and crannies in this sculpture, where the brush can hardly reach. with my rsi this was really taxing. more taxing however was to achieve a harmonious balance of colours, with the spiritual atmosphere that i wanted.

some more pictures to give a more complete view (although photos really do not capture the serenity of this work):


side view of mare de déu amb el nen dormint (click on the image for enlargement)


side view of mare de déu amb el nen dormint (click on the image for enlargement)


detail of mare de déu amb el nen dormint (click on the image for enlargement)


side view of mare de déu amb el nen dormint (click on the image for enlargement)

art & spirituality 3: vortex of life

vortex of life (own work, 2013, 21 x 30 cm, click on the image for enlargement)

as an artist, i try to create images that reflect on life, on society, existence, i don't know. life, existence, the universe, they are a complete mystery to me. and many others, i presume. still, we try to create some meaning, some order in our lives. even, preferably, security and control over our situation.

but in my perception, we are so tiny and insignificant, and our real influence on events is often negligible. we are simply swept along, with some luckier than others. is it any wonder that we cling to each other, and to religion?


detail of vortex of life (own work, 2013, 21 x 30 cm, click on the image for enlargement)

art & spirituality 2: mare de déu amb el nen sostenint una poma (cont.)

[continued from the previous post, which you should read first]

so as promised a bit more about the sculpture itself. its form arrived in 45 minutes, and i wanted spontaneity all the way. the final painting i took up 2 years later than the preliminary painting (itself 2 years later than the clay form). in the painting, as in the form, i was looking for non-classical emotive expression.


detail of mare de déu amb el nen sostenint una poma (click on the image for enlargement)


detail of mare de déu amb el nen sostenint una poma (click on the image for enlargement)


detail of mare de déu amb el nen sostenint una poma (click on the image for enlargement)

you may have noticed that mother and child are not of the same skin colour. in my own small way, as a mostly humble artist, i try to comment on issues/conditions in society that i would like to see improved. one of those issues is the to me absurd one of racism. we are all human, we are one mankind. i have tried to put that feeling in this statuette, as well as in its larger successor madonna statue (where i reversed the colours of mother and child).

the apple (`poma' in catalan) in traditional iconography stands for the original sin, or so i gather. jesus accepting the apple is taken as jesus accepting mankind's sins as well as his fate regarding this (the cross, to wash away these sins). here it should be taken as nothing but joy of life, or if you wish to be philospohical: the joy of the fruit of knowledge.

illustrating the traditional apple iconography, behold below the beautiful middle panel of the portinari triptych by hans memling (1430-1494, ironically the best reference on wikipedia is the catalan hans memling page!):


hans memling, mary and jesus (middle panel of portinari triptych, click on the image for enlargement)

let me end this post with a rear view of the statuette:


rear view of mare de déu amb el nen sostenint una poma (click on the image for enlargement)

art & spirituality: mare de déu amb el nen sostenint una poma

mare de déu amb el nen sostenint una poma (own work, 20 x 20 x 30 cm, 2009-2013)

mare de déu means `mother of god' in catalan, and refers to maria as mother of jesus (see also roman catholic mariology). avid readers of this blog may recall my earlier posts on mary and jesus, and the wonderful `mare de déu' romanic/gothic sculptures to be found in catalunya, especially in some barcelona museums like the museu frederic marès and the museu nacional d'art de catalunya.

in hindsight, i probably only posted some images of these sculptures (as illustration of the wonders of anonymous artists), and did not sing their praise as extensively as i should have. let me correct that omission now: i find many of these polychrome madonna sculptures from the 12th-16th century to be absolutely marvelous, especially the ones made in catalonia.

what i find so marvelous is their individuality, their lack of superficial symmetrical-face-beauty, their playfulness, seriousness, compassion...expression i suppose. and of course the dedication with which they were crafted and painted. together, this achieves for me a level of spirituality which really captivates me.


mare de déu amb el nen (from palera parish, anonymous catalan artist, beginning 15th century, now in museu d'art de girona)

anyway, my first sketches to create such a sculpture myself (!) date from 1996. they were intended for a wooden sculpture, but i never found the time and energy to start such this assiduous undertaking. take a look at this wonderful video from the getty museum on spanish polychrome sculpture to get an idea what i'm talking about!



well. i do not mention very often that i am usually in poor health, but this is a major reason for me not to undertake everything that i would want. i have found a way around though, because i have been making polychrome clay sculptures for many years now. a few years back i decided to make a fair-sized polychrome clay `mare de déu'.

but first i made a quick sketch in clay (45 minutes). i liked the sketch so much that i decided to paint it as well. the first unfinished version i lent to a dear friend on his sickbed, which lasted almost 2 years. after his death, i turned to finishing the polychrome. the result you see above. i will write more about the sculpture itself in the next post.

[to be continued]

frida kahlo & recognition as an artist

frida kahlo, self-portrait with thorn necklace and hummingbird

a few days ago, i spoke a good friend. and she said she admired my persistence in my artistic endeavour. because, she said, she would find it very hard to keep up the necessary motivation in similar circumstances.

to summarize: her perception is that i'm not getting so much recognition as an artist. and for her personally, the lack of such recognition would be a good reason to chuck it all in.

a double-edged compliment if ever i saw one :-) ! lucky for me, i have a different perception of recognition. as i wrote many times before, i'm not so impressed with the 'upper echelons' of contemporary art. that world is so much driven by fashion, money, competition, name dropping, and `entartainment', that real artistic merit often becomes irrelevant.

recognition for me comes in the many many people who have expressed to me personally that they were touched by one or more of my works. and also in the numerous fellow artists who have expressed their wonder at my themes and techniques. but it also comes from what my friend called aptly my inner compass. for me, i'm very content to be at a stage where things have been coming together for many years. for the first decade of my artist life, i was often frustrated by my lack of sufficient capability to create what i wanted to create. especially when painting, since drawing and sculpting mostly came reasonably naturally.

now, instead of frustration i'm often amazed at what comes out of the creative process. of course, on a different level i still lack all sorts of capabilities. but the difference is that this lack does not hinder me in creating works that evocate what i want them to. and that often amazes me, especially since a large part of this is beyond my conscious control. anyway, the gist is: i have enough inner compass to see that what i am doing has more quality than i could have hoped for twenty years ago...and that alone is enough recognition for me.

what in heavens' name does this have to do with frida kahlo, you wonder. well, you may not be aware that she garnered relatively little recognition during her lifetime. she was often seen primarily as the wife of the then-acclaimed artist diego rivera.

also this week, i borrowed a book from the library on 20th century latin-american art, wishing to expand my horizons a bit. only to find that frida's works were the only ones to really impress me. especially (but not only) her self-portraits are simply astonishing. [i restrict myself to showing only the above painting from wikipedia, since they are all copyrighted, and hope that its use is covered by the same fair-use policy as wikipedia's].

so, to sum it up for this post: recognition during one's lifetime is a happy circumstance for an artist. but let us be thankful that many artists have other considerations to create art as well.

finishing/restoring old work 2 (academy days): our lady of the stars and the planets

our lady of the stars and the planets (own work, 1986-2014, 50 x 57 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)

i started this painting somewhere in 1986, when i just started out with acrylics. i was forced to start using acrylics since i had developed a serious allergy against all oil-based paints and their associated fumes already then. this in turn was largely due to my non-stop painting which for years took part in the same room where i slept (me being a poor student).

the painting was a complete experiment, in materials as well as form, and it didn't work out satisfactorily. but the result was intriguing and hung on my wall for well over a year until i finally gave up on trying to improve it. its merits were a certain freedom of expression, but its limitations were severe and i didn't have a clue how to proceed. i always kept it, hoping to one day find inspiration for a reworking.

this reworking took place the last few weeks. once again i had to cross certain unknown lands to get here. i decided to clarify some facial structures, and to simplify the background. then, using some painted cardboard parts that i had removed from the painting earlier, i cut out some stars. used palettes i tried in many combinations, to create planets. and i added seashells to our lady's clothing. i collected those shells last year, during endless walks by the seaside between st. maartenszee and bergen. (i will come back to those shells in a future post, but let me say already here that i picked just one sort, because i thought it would work very well in paintings. the surface of these shells is simply amazing.) of course, planets, stars and seashells refer to the traditional role of maria as stella maris (star of the sea), a guiding light for seafarers.

as in almost all my works, i find a great difficulty in achieving `the' fitting expression. most often it needs to be a mixture between some (soft) sadness, some contemplation, some compassion and some (small) smile as well. [postscript 2014: changed the expression once again, and added some hair elements...to make the painting more unambiguously uplifting]

the religious connotation is largely the same as in the `notre dame des anges' series, but i wanted some surprise and childlike qualities in the painting. i'm not sure how well i have achieved these qualities, but i do have a strong sense that it is finished now, and should be taken as it is, with all its history and possible shortcomings. [and it probably has a strong `outsider art' feeling for many viewers. i have decided to not hold back this side of my art, especially when restoring/finishing older work].


filippo lippi, madonna and child (mid 15th century)

filippo lippi was the teacher of sandro botticelli, his influence on his pupil is clear to see. the star on maria in the above painting refers to her role as stella maris.

more dance drawings

dance of the earth and sky xii (own work, 2013, 21 x 30 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)


dance of the earth and sky vi (own work, 1990, 33 x 48 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)


dance of the earth and sky iii (own work, 1989, 23 x 32 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)


saturday night dancing i (own work, 2003, 21 x 30 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)


dancing with the animals (own work, 2008, 10 x 15 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)


strange dance (own work, 2008, 10 x 15 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)


dancing with nymphs (own work, 2004, 21 x 30 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)

she sends her flamingos (finishing not so old work 2)

(when i get depressed) she sends her flamingos (own work, 2008-2013, 21 x 30 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)

i have a fair number of unfinished drawings awaiting their turn for another attempt by me to bring them to a suitable conclusion. they lie around my studio in various places, and i look at them from time to time. there is no rhyme or reason to which one will grab my eye, at a certain point in time. but perhaps there is one pattern: some themes need time to settle. this differs from theme to theme.

as i have been writing about this here on this blog: at least one big challenge left for me is to explore human relations, and la condition humaine. as i grow older i find i'm even more disenchanted with superficial esthetics. poignancy, relevancy to real life, i'm looking for those.

one serious question is whether to cater to the general public's taste... i do not wish to create images just for myself, but if one wishes for poignancy, relevancy and non-superficiality, then it is a fair guess that the general public's taste will need time to catch up. at least as much time as i do, when creating the works. or perhaps of course my art is all rubbish :-)

just so you know where i'm coming from...

finishing (not so old) work

grief and comfort (own work, 2012-2013, 34 x 50 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)

sometimes, a work takes more stages before it is finished than i expected. this is mostly the case when i'm really experimenting with style. one inner debate which almost always takes place is simplicity vs. subtility/sophistication. and a very related question: how much imperfection is called for in this work?

so after starting this drawing in the beginning of 2012, i thought it finished at the end of last year. but i always study finished works for some time in my studio, before storing them, and its imperfections kept consistently nagging at me. i know that imperfection has its own quality and necessity, but when it keeps nagging me i usually feel that i have to improve on the work. i this case i chose to work more on detail, colour and expression. effectively this changed the entire drawing. the three pictures of details below should show you the expressivity of hands, faces and last but certainly not least: the expressivity of abstract elements.


hands in grief and comfort, detail i (click on the image for an enlargement)


faces in grief and comfort, detail ii (click on the image for an enlargement)


abstract elements in grief and comfort, detail iii (click on the image for an enlargement)

finishing/restoring old work: pre-academy days

gambler (own work, 1982-2013, 64 x 91 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)

the original painting `the gambler in the city' (see below) was made in 1982, when i was still in high school. i had just returned from a one-year exchange program in minnetonka, minnesota (1981-1982). before starting in minnetonka high school i had already decided that i wanted to become an artist. therefore i took all sorts of classes that weren't available in my dutch high school (vwo science), like oil painting, lettering and calligraphy, photography, film. since the classroom for oil painting was open all day, i spent about two hours a day in there, for a year, taught by my wonderful teacher richard cunningham. he, being impressed with my work and dedication, pushed me to apply for an art academy grant in the united states, but i wished to go home.

at home in the netherlands i didn't have a studio, and nowhere the necessary finances to use oil paint. i just was drawing all day and making sculptures, and then i decided to use cheaper outdoor paint for painting. in the painting you can see that i was already then fascinated by ways of depicting faces in a non-standard manner. picasso was a great inspiration for me, although i never became a real cubist.

but i was never really satisfied with the painting, the left-hand side was unconvincing and the colours weren't really what i wanted. however, for being 17, i was still happy with having painted such a face at all, and to develop my skills in any way possible. then a dear friend of mine took a liking to the painting, and for more than 25 years it stood or hung somewhere in his apartment. this was largely a boon, since some other works from that period have been lost over time, but the downside was that i never got around to really finishing it. a few years ago he returned it, saying he had lost his enchantment, partly due to its state of deterioration. this was not hard to understand. the painting had lost its lustre, the paint had faded and accumulated dirt/dust, and in my eyes it never was a very good painting to begin with, except for the face.


the gambler in the city (own work (now lost due to reworking), 1982, 64 x 91 cm, click on the image for an enlargement).

so i told my friend: `i will restore the painting, but it will become very different. i will restore the lustre, but i also have to improve everything, from composition to colour etc., yet at the same time i want to retain its basic quality, if possible.' for the past 3 years i have been slowly working on a remake, the finished result which you see above. i found it hard to retain the buildings, their integration was already a problem when i started the painting. so i decided to simplify, and portray a gambler amidst another major addiction: alcohol.

all in all it was a painstaking process. nowadays i usually paint very differently, and i finally decided to blend the two styles, but this is not so easy as one might think. the result however gives me joy: i feel i have finally finished the original painting in the way it deserved to be finished.

[ps: by the way, my canon refuses to capture the colours of `gambler' anywhere close to accurately. it remains frustrating how badly affordable technology manages to handle colours. not only cameras, but computer screens as well. and many many people don't even notice. isn't that something...as an artist i'm always trying to achieve colour depth, colour life, colour tensions, colour harmonies. but who really notices? i like to think that some of my efforts go a long way with some people. it is probably too optimistic to expect that many people would notice.]

restoring old work: some examples

eve (own work, 1986, 40 x 50 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)

this painting was made with a variety of paints, some pieces of tape and candle wax. i restored the bright red (which had deteriorated) and cleaned the rest. i especially like the expression and experimentation in this work. eva is the dutch name for eve.


horses, trees (own work, 1985, 25 x 47 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)

this work was made with thick gouache on cardboard, partly pressed straight out of the plastic container. in drying, the heavy cracking of the gouache leads to entire pieces falling off the cardboard. also the colours were somewhat faded. i reglued everything by varnishing with acrylic medium, which also restores some of the colour.


untitled (own work, 1989, 10 x 19 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)

this work was made on plasterboard, with ink and toothpaste. the paper had discoloured, and the ink had faded. the toothpaste, like the gouache above, threatened to fall off. i restored the original colour somewhat by painting, and replenished some ink, and finished with an acrylic varnish. then i mounted the result on a clear acrylic plate, as a frame which shows the plasterboard as well.

finishing and/or restoring old work: boon & bane

smokester (own work, 1989-2013, 23 x 31 cm, acrylic and mixed media on paper, click on the image for an enlargement)

finishing and/or restoring old works to me is both boon and bane. the boon of finishing old work lies partly in discovering that i have reached new levels of artistry, which enable me to find solutions where previously i got stuck. the boon of restoring old work partly lies in discovering that i still appreciate many older works, often also for their directness and unconventionality. some of them were made with not-so-durable materials, leading to fading colours or browning paper. and then it is a real pleasure to see these works restored.

the bane however is not small either. the finishing of old work is especially time-consuming, restoring old work is less so but still costs time and focus which i could also spend on developing truly new avenues.

and i really need to explore new avenues. this i will elucidate also in posts to come. (to be continued)

ps: in this old work you can find my signature initials `faw' on the front. nowadays i usually sign my work on the back side, still using `faw'. the reason for this is that i mostly find the signature to be a disturbing element. in this work `smokester' i managed to blend the signature in with the tablecloth pattern, which goes to show that i was having trouble with signing on the front already then. the work was made using quite an amount of toothpaste, which i used to buy in quantity and then squeeze directly from the tube onto canvas or paper.

Recuerdos de Tenerife (paintings series of the Canary Islands)

recuerdos de tenerife (own work, 2013, 60 x 80 cm, acrylic and mixed media on canvas, click on the image for an enlargement)

The Canary Islands continue to inspire me. Last February we visited Tenerife, and with a feeling of nostalgia I painted the above. Yes, the title borrows of course from the incomparable guitar piece `Recuerdos de la Alhambra' composed by Francisco Tárrega.

Another motivating factor was my wish to paint the beauty of `simple' foliage. I'm always enthralled by plants, and can look at them for hours and hours. An artist is truly insignificant when it comes to creating beauty, for nature is the true master, I feel.

outsiderness & photoshop experiments

my drawing "outsider" is being used in various places on the internet, by people wishing to illustrate the feeling of outsiderness. all without asking permission [copyrights apply], but mostly with appropriate reference to this blog, which i insist on since it is hard enough to garner some recognition as an artist. however, to see people using my drawings to bring across some emotion is a special form of recognition, which i greatly appreciate. i have been considering for some time now to release a body of work to wikimedia commons, so that people can use my drawings more freely. but i have not yet studied the consequences in enough detail.

the theme of outsiderness keeps intriguing me [you can click on the label "outsiderness" below this post to see other posts on this theme].


self-portrait in outsider forest (own work, 2012-2013, 21 x 21 cm, digital, click on the image for an enlargement)

i'm experimenting, in many ways. the combination of photoshop with `ordinary' drawing fascinates me, but seldom leaves me satisfied. but things are progressing, slowly. i'm extremely hampered by rsi (repetitive strain injury), which has been plaguing me for the past 12 years. the reason also why my blogging activity is limited.


night encounter (ongoing own work, 2007-2012, 21 x 22 cm, digital, click on the image for an enlargement)

finally then, i designed another record sleeve for my friend and fellow artist ralf kwaaknijd, who is also an active musician.


ralfk goes astral (2012, 35 x 35cm, digital, click on the image for an enlargement)

new year's wish to all

(click on the image for an enlargement)

again drawings (6): pine valley in painstaking line strokes

pine valley (own work, 2007, 21 x 30 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)


pine valley (detail 6.7 x 9 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)

one reason for adding the detail: it might give an inkling how many lines this one drawing took to complete. i find it interesting to note that this level of detailing inevitably leads to image files which are significantly harder to compress than average photgraphs. in the case of this drawing, the compressed .jpeg file is about 10 times as large as when compressing a normal photograph...showing how much information is packed in such a drawing.

oh, and i should add that the file (around 1.2 Mb) still doesn't do the real drawing much justice.

old and new worlds, experiment, picasso, african art, el greco

self-portrait exploring new worlds (own work, 1987-2012, 45 x 30 cm, click on the image for an enlargement)

[also see the previous post] technical, emotional and psychological experimenting, trying to get to the essence. this work i started when i was in art school (art academy utrecht). almost needless to say, my teachers often didn't quite get what i was driving at, although they thought my work of high quality.

for them, any work i made was to be seen as an exercise, something to repeat at least 10 times, so that they could comment on every stage, and understand where it came from and was headed. for me, i was doing what the title suggests, and for me this is not served by studious repetition.

therefore i still have unfinished works from that period, works that i spent quite some time and effort on then, but was unable to bring to any satisfactory conclusion. in the past 10 years, i've been finishing a number of these `old' works, since nowadays my direction is clearer and my skills have improved.

this also reflects on how i see an artist's development: there is progress, but early periods have their own psychological merit and need not be discarded for lack of skills. on a different scale, i feel the same way about (art) history in general. modern art is all very fine, but... again like i wrote a few posts ago, perhaps george steiner was right in saying that our civilization is past its prime [in a 1989 dutch television series `nauwgezet en wanhopig']

steiner illustrated this feeling with comments about picasso, saying that picasso in essence only commented on the great masters of the past. so let's take a look once more at picasso's inspiration sources. perhaps i mentioned african art earlier on this blog?:



but did i mention its influence on les demoiselles d'avignon, the famous painting that picasso worked feverishly on for months, with hundreds of prepatory sketches? (and which he would not show)


pablo picasso, les demoiselles d'avignon

but one also discerns the catalan-romanic art influences from medieval times.

another major inspiration for les demoiselles d'avignon was the following masterpiece of el greco:


el greco, the opening of the fifth seal of the apocalypse

a painting which could have been painted yesterday as far as modernity and experiment goes, but which stems from the beginning of the 17th century, in the last years of el greco's life.